Truth is, New York wasn't working for me anyway. Probably, the smart thing would have been to sell the house, but no one could accuse me of always doing the smart thing. I emptied my bank account to pay taxes on the house, quit my job at a downtown New York City restaurant, and I moved into Ophelia's money pit. The house is in Marblehead, just north of Boston and southeast of Salem. In January, three days after my twenty-eighth birthday, I inherited a house from my eccentric Great Aunt Ophelia. They're not huge, but they're better than a poke in the eye, and I've been told they're perky. So here I am with the cutest nose in town, and I've finally grown breasts. When they patched me up, I was no longer Buzzard Beak. It turned out to be a lucky thing, because after I visited Anthony in jail and returned the ring, I sobbed myself through a couple tumblers of vodka, fell off the toilet in a drunken stupor, crashed into a sink, and broke my nose. Two weeks after graduation and a week before the wedding, Anthony and his Uncle Gordo were caught hijacking a refrigerator truck loaded with sides of beef. I got engaged to fellow classmate Anthony Muggin while I was at Johnson & Wales. Anyway, the truth is, my bra was so padded I didn't know I was getting felt up.

I got my brown eyes and distinctive nose from Grandpa Harry, and while the nose wasn't great, I told myself it could have been worse, because Billy Kruger's nickname was Poop Pants.Īnd then when I was in eighth grade, during a moment of misguided curiosity, I made out with Ryan Lukach, and the jerk told everyone I wore a padded bra. I grew up in Virginia and when I was in third grade, Billy Kruger gave me the nickname Buzzard Beak, and I carried it with me all through grade school. Not that it's been all bad more that it hasn't been entirely smooth. My gravy had lumps in it, and that pretty much sums up my life so far. I graduated J&W in the top ninety-three percent of my class, and I would have graduated higher, but I flunked gravy. I enrolled in the culinary arts program at Johnson & Wales in Rhode Island right out of high school, hoping to someday get a job as a pastry chef. And for as long as I can remember, I've baked cupcakes. I'm Elizabeth to my mother, but for as long as I can remember, I've been Lizzy to everyone else.

Janet evanovich wicked series