“You’re here, and it’s like nothing fucking changed. “You’re here! That’s it!” His nostrils flare and he dives his hand into my hair, cupping the side of my head. “I can’t! You make it fucking impossible for me to hate you.” “I think I am! Especially when I want to hate you so badly!” “When we’re alone! You’re not entitled to be an ass when your family is around!” “I’m entitled to be an asshole, don’t you think, princess?” He grabs my arm and spins me around, his eyes blazing. “In the most asshole way ever!” I push past him. I’m every-fucking-thing under the sun that’s bad, but at least save it for private!” “Now, I’m not in a position to be talking about feelings but, damn, Conner! How do you think that made me feel? I’m a bitch, I know. “No, I’m mad at you for bringing up somethin’ you didn’t damn well need to!” I yell. “You’re mad at me for something you did? Fuck, Sof!” What, you think I don’t beat myself up enough in private and I need to do it in public, too? That it?” “Your asshole move at dinner!” The words snap out of me. So go, because I don’t have the energy to be mad today.” “Mad at me?” Conner responds incredulously. I’m trying not to talk to you, so you should leave before I get mad.” “Any reason you’re face-planting the wall?” Jack Daniel’s and Conner out of my house. I wait for the click of the gate before I turn to the wall and rest my forehead against it. He carries Mila upstairs with Bunna and Dolly. I need Conner out of my house so I can climb into bed and wallow in my guilt. Better to myself than out loud, right? No, out loud is a sign of craziness. Now I’m just rambling to myself inside my mind. Damn, I really need to start organizing this house a little.Ī laundry hamper in the dining room. I hand Conner her jammies and a diaper and take her dirty clothes and put them in the hamper in the corner of the room.

I bang my head against the wall before I grab the pajamas and go back downstairs. Hey, I kept your baby from you, but it’s totally okay because you still sing her to sleep every night. Wishing I could take the CD out of the player because now it seems so damn stupid. “I’ll get her some pajamas.” I turn and go upstairs to her room, checking she has everything in here. I let us in through the back and Conner unstraps Mila. I hate the dark.Īfter several minutes we end up at my yard and I dig for my key. It was hard work before, and now it’s getting dark. I trudge along behind him, and I’m secretly thankful he pushed her.

I’ll save it for later instead.īecause there’s bound to be a later, and if not, there’ll be a sooner. I take a deep breath and let go of the stroller, letting him take control.

Dirty secret by emma hart